Do The Work Podcast - "You're not my daddy" Carla Araujo

Posted by AZ Araujo on Tuesday, March 13, 2018

Big Daddy


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In This Week’s Podcast….Big Daddy Revealed 

In this episode of Do the Work with AZ and Carla, the couple works through their issues with traveling together and boundaries. What’s more embarrassing, a metal water bottle to the head or a grown man holding 2 Yorkies? You be the judge.

Topic #1 Hey, Lady, That’s My Head

  • AZ begins this episode with describing the crazy week they had traveling to Denver. Traveling is always stressful for them as they sometimes miss flights and AZ is always getting private searched by TSA. He recalls a recent flight he was on and an old lady in front of him dropped her suitcase one his head. Without apologizing she gave him an “Oh well” stare. Shortly after an old man across the way hit the lady with a strap. AZ says he was satisfied by this action and immediate reaction.
  • Because of a similar incident on the flight to Denver with Carla and their daughters, AZ inserted himself into the situation and apologized for Carla knocking a water bottle onto a man’s head. This infuriates Carla as AZ embarrassed her by bringing unwanted attention to the minor mishap. AZ felt that he was embarrassed by Carla so he overcompensated by apologizing for more than once to the man.

 “In marriage, we sometimes think that our partner is a direct reflection of who we are”

Topic #2 Carla gets the Finger

  •  Two things angered Carla about how AZ handled himself on the plane. First, he was quick to point the finger at Carla and tell the man that she had caused the metal water bottle to fall on his head. Secondly, he apologized on her behalf; and it didn’t involve him.
  • With the remainder of the flight spent in silence, AZ quickly realized that he pissed Carla off. He asks the question,”Where are you finding yourself, apologizing for your mate?” He realizes that they are on, but in this situation, she has her own responsibility. It could have happened to anyone, Carla adds, and even though she apologized, the fact that AZ wouldn’t stop made it worse.

“Why would you apologize on my behalf when you didn’t do shit”

Topic #3 The Revelation of Big Daddy

  • While consoling a complete stranger may have seemed like the right thing to do, it wasn’t. AZ realized that by doing this he put a strain on his relationship. He screwed up and put other people ahead of the most important person in his life. Carla adds that this is something AZ does. He brings attention to situations where she is already embarrassed and makes her feel stupid. AZ wasn’t identifying what he was doing wrong but knows now that he consistently places blame. He is learning to stay out of things that aren’t involving him.
  • He encourages women to speak up or they will eventually lash out, creating resentment and anger in your relationship. Carla adds that apologizing to only the person you hurt is necessary. Being appreciative and being your own person is important as well as allowing the person to be themselves.

Do you put the needs and feelings of others before your spouse?

Closing Thoughts

  • AZ continually comments on how Carla being loud is embarrassing. She says it never bothered her, and it only bothers AZ. She adds that she isn’t going to change for AZ; never let your Big Daddy shut you up.
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