Mama Issues

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In this episode of Do the Work, AZ and Carla discuss how society always talks about women with Daddy issues, but what about men with Mama issues? If your man treats you like you’re his Mama and not his wife, then ladies you need to ask yourself some tough questions that Carla has for you in this episode.

Topic #1

J-Lo is Not Your Mama

  • The couple opens this episode by talking about their weekend trip to Las Vegas. They didn’t know that Jennifer Lopez was performing but quickly got tickets once they knew. Her performance was very strong and she played for 2 ½ hours. Carla enjoyed her movement, beauty, and power. AZ said her commitment to deliver a show with such passion behind it is in her mindset. J-Lo gets a lot of bad things said about her. She is an overcomer and a determined performer.
  • In Real Estate, the odds of an agent succeeding are slim. When you see an elite player, playing the lead, it shows the mindset they have, the perseverance. Carla adds that in order to show up in all areas you have to show up powerfully regardless of what is coming at you. Carla couldn’t stop thinking about how she appreciates who she is. AZ shares how he thinks women appreciating another woman is powerful. Carla says she embraces every comment, good or bad, it fuels her. It empowers her and lights a fire in her.
  • The show had a song about not being your man’s Mama. It opened up a conversation between AZ and Carla about Mama issues and wondering how many women are married to men who have them. Men who still go their mom to solve their problems. Men who want a wife who treats them like they are their Mom.

Quote
“You are able to see greatness in others when you don’t see greatness in yourself. When you are quick to criticize a person it’s because they have triggered something that you haven’t done. ” AZ

Topic #2   

Survey Says

  • Carla has created a survey on their website www.dothework.com . It is based on a points system. Are you married to a Man or a Mama’s Boy?

Point 1 = Man, Point 2=Man/Boy, Point 3= Boy, Point 4 = Little Bitch.

Each question merits a response to the point your man is at. The goal is for him to be at Point 1 for each of the 8 questions. It is meant to be a level on a scale to see where your man is at. Some questions were inspired by AZ when he got a little too comfortable in their marriage. What drew Carla to AZ was his connection to his family, the way he treated them. When they got married she thought, oh no he wants to call me his Mom.

  • QUESTIONS:
  • 1) Do you do his laundry?
  • 2) Does he expect a warm plate when he gets home?
  • 3) Do you put his shoes and underwear away?
  • 4) Do you clean up after him after a meal?
  • 5) Does he have a beard?
  • 6) Does he call his mom for an opinion constantly?
  • 7) Does he call his Mom, Mommy?
  • 8) Does your Mama bring you a Hot Plate when you are sick?
  • Carla says that when AZ was a Mama’s boy, she allowed him to be, now he is a #1.

Quote
“You need to be confident in the role you choose. If you aren’t you need to make a change, not blame your partner for where you have put yourself.” Carla

Topic #3

Role Changes

  • Carla states that you need to be in 100% on whatever role you decide to play. AZ fell in love with Carla as an individual, but she lost herself in her role as wife, Mom, Secretary. If women want to take a stand to be who they want to be they need to make that decision and realize there will be friction as things change. But if they don’t do, it things will get uglier and uglier down the road.
  • Carla has always worked and lost that power to say she shouldn’t be doing everything. She thought she could handle everything and didn’t want to disappoint AZ. Still looking to him for approval.
  • Carla coaches women and doesn’t want them to be her, it’s not what she is doing. She tells them that they need to be confident. They need to be them. You can’t lead if you aren’t doing what you expect of them. AZ adds that it is easy to make claims to revolutionize but there aren’t any results shown. He loves that Carla owns who she is. She is pure experience. The difference between giving her opinion and giving her experience.

Quote
“The relationship is healthy when there is no subordinate.”- AZ

Closing Thoughts

  • AZ asks Carla how does a woman start to change a role in the household? Carla tells the ladies that she coaches, they need to go in respectively but to stand 100% behind their decision. Your husband will have a 100 questions about the change. He might think you are unhappy with him and the job he is doing for the family. Most husbands have never known any of these problems existed so he may not understand immediately where it is coming from.
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