The Blame Game


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In Today’s Podcast…The Blame Game

In this episode of Do the Work, AZ and Carla discuss how placing the blame when things go wrong in your life, is a weak excuse for failure. Empower yourself with the experiences you have had, to make your decisions with thoughtful purpose. Stop blaming others for where your unhappiness lies, and grab ahold of your backbone and own your own shit.

Topic #1

You Need to Slow Your Roll

  • Az opens this episode by remarking on Carla’s custom made shoes. She showed him and he questioned the color and didn’t congratulate her on the accomplishment. She notices that when she is feeling good about how she looks, he always has comments. Does that shit all the time.
  • Az talks about how a recent series of events, could have altered how things went in opening their 3rd Brokerage Office. They hired a Commercial Broker and everything was going well. The agent needed some documents signed right away, and they were out of town. Carla wanted the lease to be looked at by the lawyer. Az wanted to move forward right away so the contractors could get going. Carla didn’t give a shit, she wanted things done right and not in a hurry. Did not care that the agent was in a hurry, wasn’t her problem.
  • This created some friction between the two of them. This broker they hired, was supposed to ensure all the revisions were made that the lawyers wanted. It all came down to executing the Tenant Improvement document. The agent sent them a copy and assured AZ that it was the revised copy; based off of his word. AZ starting pressuring Carla, she wasn’t going to sign anything until the lawyer saw it. AZ gave in, and the lawyer told them none of the revisions had been made.
  • What AZ does, he does well, What Carla does, she does well. She crosses her T’s and dots her I’s. They got everything corrected.
“Before AZ used to rush me and I would get blamed when things went wrong. Now I do it my way. ”- Carla

Topic #2   

Resistance and Pressure

  • AZ admits that he gave Carla resistance and she wouldn’t give. She remembers when they had to sell the UPS Store. AZ said no and he wanted to hold onto it. She showed him the books and he didn’t take her at her word. It took time to convince him, and they sold it when AZ was ready. The franchise people were always pressuring Carla to sign. She wanted the attorneys to sit next to them and walk them through it. That’s how they got screwed because nothing was done right. She will never let anyone pressure her into making choices she knows is not right.
  • AZ  says he started playing the victim and blaming everyone. It was their fault, blamed everyone in private and blamed Carla to her face. He questioned her all the way through. Because he didn’t take ownership, didn’t use wisdom, it cost them severely. The whole point is learning from your past failures.
  • In life, the same situation appears. Not doing his due diligence, but taking someone at their word. Every lesson will reappear in our lives down the road. Even with that happening, it could have been a big mess.
“I was going to put my family at risk by giving into that agent’s sense of urgency”-AZ

Topic #3

Stop Choking on Your Backbone

  • Carla knew where and how things needed to go for the UPS Store, but she didn’t have the backbone to stand firm in it. Like most married business partners, the man will believe the word of another instead of listening to what his wife/partner has said. There is no trust; Half in half out. It’s the woman’s responsibility to stand her ground.
  • In marriage, we blame the other person for our unhappiness, for our weakness. Because of you I am overweight because of you I can’t go to school, I’m in a job I hate. It takes two, for marriages to fall apart. Down the road divorce happens. One of them gets in shape and becomes super successful. The divorce empowered them, gave them a backbone. Why didn’t you do that in your marriage? Because you got comfortable and didn’t stay in the game.
  • When you show up weak, you will be treated that way. You get boring and he starts to cheat. You are left hurt because you feel you are owed something. You have to go into marriage loving yourself first, so you can love your spouse; Because your spouse will love you that much more. You have to do it together and show up powerful in your relationship. And instead of carrying hate for your ex, thank them for letting you see a better you by them leaving.
 “You need to live up to your own expectations of yourself.”- Carla

Closing Thoughts

  • AZ closes by saying that marital problems are caused by complacency. When you are coming in weak, you are settling for mediocrity. Carla always tells AZ that she loves him, but she loves herself more.
  • Carla is finishing up with her 12-week coaching and is getting ready to sign on 5 more clients. Go to their website and fill out an application and learn how to improve your business and increase your personal power.
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