Stressing the Small Stuff


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In this episode of Do the Work, AZ and Carla discuss how their morning started off rough because Carla was ranting. Misdirecting your anger at someone who wasn’t your trigger, is a hazard of housing negative energy. By stepping back and assessing the root of the problem, you can reach a solution on your own, and have a productive outcome.

Topic #1

Tighty Whities and Kale

  • AZ opens this episode, by sharing that they are getting ready for a really big event. Carla adds that it’s a big mess. This triggers AZ when she says this because he feels it is negative. They agree that the Real Estate Summit they are hosting will be amazing. She thinks it has been very organized, but her house is a wreck.
  • AZ goes on to say, that he was just sitting in the studio, minding his business, when the Tasmanian Devil came in. Carla was on a rampage. He had a lot to do and he wasn’t going to let her negative energy get to him. He was good, and her energy made that go away. She was angry because he left a mess behind in the house for her to deal with.
  • Tighty Whities all over the bedroom, a bunch of green juice and kale all over the counters and the sink. She was expecting to just have to take care of the girls, and not AZ. She came into the studio and unleashed on Dallas, the first man she saw.
  • She had so much to do, she realized she didn’t have to worry about the mess, because she has people to do that for her. She just needed someone to blame. It was misdirected.

“I went back and tried to figure out what really triggered me. It was a text I had received earlier. ”- Carla

Topic #2   

Two Crazies Don’t Make it Right

  • AZ has learned he can’t control Carla. He doesn’t know what’s going on in her mind. He knows it wasn’t him. He just let her rant and it passed. That used to trigger him and he would go back at her. It would have affected his whole day. He appreciates her passion, he used to not give her credit for it. He admires that about her. That’s what made him fall in love with her.
  • There is so much that Carla appreciates about AZ. She needs to quit stressing about the small things, and wasting her energy. Before, an argument like this would have lasted for days, even weeks. Because they didn’t take the time to realize, it had nothing to do with each other.
  • Carla does this exercise with her clients. If you are having an argument, take 2 steps back and realize what triggered the argument. Madness comes from simple triggers. Not even knowing where it came from . Then you can’t make one simple decision for the whole day. You are being owned by whomever or whatever triggered you. It can go on for days.

“Anger and frustration are natural emotions. You don’t need to fix it, just be there and listen. They just need to be heard. ”-AZ

Topic #3

Keep it at Home

  • Don’t go out and vent to other people. You open yourself up to whatever they have going one, and their opinions. Carla used to get so angry  when AZ would find her cute when she would get mad. He would throw ideas at her and she didn’t want to hear it.
  • If you’re in the state of being triggered, step back and identify, stop deflecting. Listen to yourself. You’re powerful enough to make your own decisions and your own solutions.
  • No marriage is perfect. They were not in a good place always. Carla remembers a family photo the couple took. They looked so happy and bonded and were not. They didn’t talk on the way there. Put on fake smiles. They were putting on a front and their marriage was falling apart.
  • Just continue to Do the Work. Get up every morning and fight. You can subscribe, rate and review this podcast by going to

“Marriage is tough and hard. Don’t be disillusioned by the pictures people put out that say otherwise.”-Carla


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