I’m Going to Make You Feel Like You Just Made Me Feel

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In this episode of Do the Work, Carla uses an incident that happened while she was out shopping with her daughters, as a lesson in taking a stand for yourself. Standing in your power and knowing what you believe in takes courage. It’s important to realize that your behavior impacts people. Carla leveled the playing field, and let them know they fucked with the wrong person. Take back your power frame and Do the Work!

 

Topic #1

A Rat in a Box

  • Carla opens up this episode by talking about how it’s an ordinary incident when you want to do something for yourself. It’s not her first rodeo. She’s had eyelash extensions before. She did it for years ago and had an allergic reaction and eyelashes fell out two years later her lashes grew back, and she decided she wanted to try again. She woke up this morning with her eyes swollen and now she is wearing sunglasses. She is not ashamed of the swollen eyes; it’s just at the lights in the studios are bothering her. It’s the price you pay for beauty.
  • Taking a stand for yourself while your children are watching and looking for how you respond in situations is essential. Today the couple will talk about making you feel like you made me feel. Walking into a store with her daughter’s, a boutique Carla goes to and supports because it’s a small business and her daughter likes the jeans there. As soon as they walk in, Carla tells the girls to start shopping, and the kids won’t leave her side. They say they feel uncomfortable and Carla can feel the strange Vibe as well.
  • As soon as Carla grabs a shirt, the sales lady came over and asked if she would like her to take that to a fitting room. Carla says no she’ll hold it and then the lady goes back to the cashier and says something and they begin to giggle. Carla thought what the fuck? But this still didn’t trigger her. Carla keeps looking at shirts, and the sales lady starts following her around fixing whatever Carla touched. Her daughters still wouldn’t look at jeans and wanted to leave. This saleslady just kept following them around the store. Carla decided she would buy some things and then I asked what was in it that was on the counter. The sales lady says it was just an accessory and dismissed her. Made them all feel very uncomfortable, she was short with them.
  • Normally in this situation, Carl would go off, but she took a step back, and they left the boutique with their purchases and went to the grocery store. The whole time they were shopping for groceries. Her girls could see something was wrong. The lady was taking up space in Carla’s head. What finally set Carla off was her youngest daughter made the statement that she felt like the lady thought she was going to steal that Mouse in the Box.
  • So they load the groceries into the car, Carla turned on the air conditioning and told the girls she would be back. She was going to go back into that Boutique because she felt she disappointed her daughter’s because she remained silent about being uncomfortable. Her daughter even commented at the grocery store that it felt like the woman thought she was going to steal. Carla got in the car and sat for like 30 seconds and thought fuck this, why did I let it go this far and not say anything.

 

Quote
“I was in here with my kids and I’m going to make you feel the way you made me feel. You made me feel uncomfortable, my kids were uncomfortable,  and you made them feel like, you thought they were going to steal something.”- Carla

 

Topic #2   

Mama Bear and a Glass of Chardonnay

  • Carla went back into the boutique an hour after they left and she went up to the sales lady and said I need to talk to you. Carla told the sales lady you were in the corner with the other girl the cashier, and you were laughing and whispering. But now that I’m here in your face I want to make sure I’m making you uncomfortable. Carla told them that she knew the owner of the boutique and she wanted them to see that they made her and her girls feel uncomfortable with their actions. It was an awkward situation, and Carla wanted to make them feel awkward just as awkward; both women said they were so sorry. Carla told them don’t be sorry, your sales energy was great. But your Vibe was wrong.
  • At that point, two women came out of the fitting rooms. Carl apologized saying she didn’t know that they were there. The one customer had a glass of wine, and Carlos thought where the f*** did she get a glass of wine?  The customer said to Carla,”I had to come out and see who was out here saying those things and had the balls to say them.” Carla said, “I’m Carla Araujo from Do the Work.
  • The customer asked again how do you do that? Carla answered I’m Carla Araujo from Do the Work contact me and I will tell you how. During this, the sales girls are like what is happening? At this point, another customer came out of the other fitting room and started to go on about how wonderfully the Sales Lady treated her. Carla didn’t care, what mattered was that her daughters were made to feel uncomfortable and we’re doing something wrong. And Mama Bear was not tolerating that. Don’t mess with her kids. Carla was there to make them feel Justice and comfortable as they made them feel.
  • That customer that lady was giving her opinion and Carla said she didn’t ask for it. Carla could have shown her daughter’s that when someone makes you feel uncomfortable, you shut down, you shy away. You need to pretend it didn’t happen or take a stand. It may have been done unknowingly, but it shouldn’t have happened. One thing Carla regrets, she had to pretend she was something she is not. She spent money in that Boutique to show up and that she had money to spend there, to prove she belongs there. Carl admitted that to her oldest. They sat in the car after and talked about it for a bit. Her daughter told Karla mom you know they are probably in there talking about you, but it’s because you did something they couldn’t do.

Quote
“Most would have shied away from it and not done or said anything.” – AZ

Topic #3

Stop Staring

  • Later that evening the owner of the boutique called Carla at home. She apologized and said that her sales girls had called her crying and that they felt terrible. The owner told Carla that she had done something incredible. She added that she had just brought the girl on to the sales floor from the stockroom. The sales lady had a problem with speaking up and being mute and following people around. The owner has told her it makes people uncomfortable when she doesn’t speak up and say anything. So she was glad Carla did that, so the girl would begin to step up and use her voice and see what needs to be done to change.
  • The reason Carla feels so strongly about that is that some women would have walked into that situation and not come out of it strong. Carla was that woman before. Walking into a store and getting stares and giggles, Carla would try to do things to make people like her. Before when Carla would step in, and they would look at her and think she was all cutesy and confident, not knowing Carla was more afraid of them. Those women at the boutique made her feel uncomfortable, and Carla did what she did to make sure it didn’t happen again. Do not laugh, do not stare, do not giggle at other women; You don’t know what they are going through at that moment. That’s why it triggered Carla. She didn’t care what the sales girl was going through personally; Then don’t put that girl out on your floor at your store; Because a woman like Carla who is different today will stand up for herself. Carla was going to make sure she made them feel like they made her feel.
  • Don’t just stare. Say something. It’s the rudest thing, compliment or something; are you judging those individuals? Stop being a coward, and look away then. Stop staring, who are you to judge another woman?
  • Carla refuses to let someone steal her power because behavior impacts people. She took her power frame back. She leveled the playing field by going back into that Boutique. They fucked with the wrong person today. In this Carla created a lesson for her girls, that they can ignore how people treat them, or they can call them out on it. Stand in your power knowing what you believe in and have the courage to stand up for yourself.

Quote
“At the beginning of our relationship, I would take Carla’s power. She is a different person today and I respect her more because she would not allow me to treat her that way.”-  AZ

 

Closing Thoughts

  • When the owner of the boutique told Carla that the sales girl just came out of the stock room and then she had that encounter with Carla, that girl probably just wanted to go back to the stockroom. Stop living in the shadows and being small. You need to rise up. She should have just apologized to Carla and said it wouldn’t happen again, but her weakness irritated Carla.
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