Stop Leaning On Me
- Working with your spouse can be a challenge. For many years Carla leaned on Az and held him back. She was afraid to question him, to step up to him and speak up, fearful of it all; afraid of running the business like a real boss. Carla felt that every time she asked him something to get his approval, it brought him back.
- Az fell into always being the last word and in the lead role because she was leaning on him. Carla also felt like Az had more trust in strangers that he did in her. Az would seek the advice of people who had the knowledge and Carla didn’t take a leadership role, and he didn’t take her seriously.
- Az was asking other people and yet calling Carla his business partner, the other person had no respect when she would call because Az would question her opinion. Carla is a by the books girl; she knows what is required. When she is asking a contractor for a signature on some documents, they would call Az to go over her head to get payment before getting a signature. Az would call Carla and tell her to pay them, even after she said she had paperwork that needed signing. She allowed him to treat her the way he did for so long., that he didn’t appreciate her. Things changed when Carla took a stand for herself.
Counter Productive Chaos
- Carla began to doubt herself over the years because she gave Az all of the authority. Carla has always been about Rules, guidelines, and laws. Nobody likes that part of the process, and Az didn’t understand that Carla was coming from a place of covering their asses. Az agrees that they have strict guidelines in their line of business; clients would wonder if they could get around the fees and Carla would say no, so they would go to Az. It caused chaos at their house because he would keep undermining Carla. Carla felt like the bad cop to Az’s good cop.
- Carla would go home drained and holding resentment from the vicious cycle happening at work; even though there were clear lines drawn to whose responsibility it was, Az would always cross the line. Whenever a spouse comes on board to help a growing business; using that word “help” makes one spouse over the other. It’s a recipe for disaster. The result is resentment when the spouses don’t realize that they are doing this to the other.
- Some spouses leave their jobs to help the other, even if they have a good thing going. So Carla quit one asshole job to come to the other. There needs to be a conversation and responsibilities laid out so that the business can operate at a higher level.
- If you are or thinking about bringing a spouse into the business, set clear guidelines and know that mistakes will be made; don’t make them feel they need to ask permission, the reality is that there will be money lost and errors, but it will empower you to move forward.
- It’s never perfect, and arguments will happen; the difference is that they both know what they want. If Carla lost money, in the beginning, she was afraid to tell Az, reacting as if she could be fired like an employee, not a partner. Now she leads, is a boss, and now it’s just part of doing business, and she is confident in her role as a partner.
- Bringing up past mistakes does not justify yours. It’s a lesson learned and even if it creates chaos; you need to learn to co-create and to give room for errors in business without it affecting your relationship. No business partner will be as devoted, trustworthy and hard working as your spouse.
- There is a way to Co-create, and some relationships just aren’t meant to work together; But if you can make it work and go through a conditioning process on both ends to get to the point of success. This story will continue. Some days are more comfortable than others, and them breathing doesn’t bother you.
- You can subscribe, rate and review this podcast by going to www.dothework.com If you are a small business owner is wanting to take your business to the next level, there is an application button on the website to work with Az and Carla.