Destination:Growth

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In this episode of Do The Work, Az and Carla have discovered their growth not just as individuals but as parents. Changing the patterns that you blame on others for your finances, your health, and your business is crucial to your success as a person and a parent. Giving your kids the tools to identify what will trigger them and give them the permission and the tools to overcome it. Whether you are going for something big, it’s what we decide to go through at that moment, and asking yourself the right questions will propel you where you are destined to be. Passing your growth onto the next generation is your responsibility.; take control of your thoughts and own them.

Topic #1

Continuing up the Yoni

  • Over the weekend AZ and Carla discovered their growth not only as individuals but as parents. It is up to us as adults to stop blaming our parents for how we grew up, not having money, not having relationships or good health. As adults, we need to recognize and change those patterns. Then maybe our children won’t have to start from scratch.
  • They had an unusual situation with their 9-year-old who was upset with Carla. She was mad because she felt Carla wasn’t paying any attention to her and she wanted to go to the lake. Carla told her to talk to AZ because she couldn’t take it anymore. AZ is seeing that she was visibly upset and crying and had her sit next to him and he asked her why she was so mad.
  • She didn’t understand why she upset and he told her to go ahead and be mad and upset; It was okay for her to be feeling that way. A transformation happened where the anger and resistance started to change. We spend so much time and energy trying not to upset people with our anger, we don’t acknowledge. Before long her attitude changed and they went along with their day.
  • That night in the kitchen Carla and her daughter were cleaning up; she told Carla she had talked to AZ and she was fine. The following morning their daughter was upset because she couldn’t fix her hair. Carla told her she needed to change her attitude before she went to school. Her daughter answered her by saying that her Dad said she had a right to feel the way she was feeling. Carla thought this was incredible. As adults we tell that to ourselves, to calm down to look at why you’re angry; but a child we ask them to change their attitude, and disregard their feelings.

“As adults we tell ourselves to calm down and look at why we are angry. We tell our children to change their attitude and disregard their feeling.”- Carla

Topic #2   

Anxiety Is a Mother

  • As much as they tell their girls to express themselves, they need to say to them more to allow themselves to feel what they feel and show that also. We are conditioned at a young age not to explore what we are feeling; we never learn to resolve those issues because we don’t know how to find the trigger point.
  • We shit doesn’t go our way as adults we let everyone know; but as children, we tell them to stop having an attitude and straighten up. Az doesn’t want his daughter to feel that if she is down, she can’t express that. Women are conditioned as children to put a smile on and look our best on the outside even when we feel like shit on the inside. When Carla is 100 she is 100; 100 percent happy or 100 percent upset.
  • What Az said to their daughter took Carla back to the week she had before. She is planning a massive event in November, and she spoke to AZ and her coach about it. As soon as she hung up, all of these stories that she was telling herself of all the things that could go wrong; Nothing was making sense. She has extreme anxiety if you experience you will understand how it can shut you down.
  • Carla’s mind went back to when she was growing up and why she shouldn’t be doing what she has planned in November; why she is worthless and nothing. She started to shake, and vomit and then returned to her home office. She did what she does best, and she crawled under her desk and stayed there, rocking like a child
  • She wanted Az to come to get her, but she couldn’t find her phone, and she became upset because she felt like a weak little shit. She crawled out from under the desk; she knew her behavior would have been so confusing to a bystander. For so many years she was confused and lost; couldn’t understand why she was feeling this way.  She started to sweat and crawl on the floor, and then it shifted.

“I started to shake and vomit and then went back to my home office. I did what I do best and crawled under my desk, staying there rocking like a child.” – Carla

Topic #3

Powerful Questions

  • Carla got herself up and sat on the couch and said to herself, “ Carla it’s okay to feel what you are feeling, express yourself and do what you need to do.” It’s okay to feel all this; be okay to be this way but then get up and move forward. Allow yourself to talk shit, to feel like shit and feel what you want to feel, but then get up.
  • Carla waited to talk to AZ because she didn’t want him to come to save her; He can’t do that she is too powerful to save. So she allowed herself to feel the way she needed to feel. It gave her the fire that was necessary to do what she needed to do.
  • Her anxiety will never go away, and it is severe sometimes. It doesn’t last forever though because she has allowed herself permission to feel what she needed to feel, and continue. Ask yourself is this true? Do you love what you do and are you going to move forward? Are you that ten years old? When she finally spoke to Az after asking herself these questions it was more powerfully because the anxiety had passed, and he asked her those same questions.
  • Az has been witness to the panic and attacks that Carla had had over the years before he knew what they were he thought she was just crazy. He wasn’t aware of it so he couldn’t talk to her about it. Carla was able to address it and allow herself to feel the way she was feeling and work through it in a short time; it used to take her weeks to shake it off before. She went deep and came powerful and said she has this shit.
  • This is how you break the cycles and let the Legacy begin; living a fully functional not dysfunctional life. You need to allow yourself to be; are the thoughts and stories in your head true. Often it is not, and you can combat it.  A lot of people have anxiety, and they shame themselves, but the more you tell yourself you are weak but powerful. It is not a joke, and it can take over your whole life. The more you discuss it freely, the more you will allow yourself to feel what you feel.

“I have been a witness of these anxiety attacks over the years; before I knew what they were I thought she was crazy.”- AZ

Closing Thoughts

  • Carla knows who she is and is the voice of those with anxiety; if you want to call us weak, continue. When Az didn’t understand what it was, he thought it was a weakness, but over the years Carla has just grown in power. She can walk herself through it, regardless of what people say about her.
  • Carla needed to go through that attack to gain the power to say fuck that; she regained her control by working through the anxiety and stories. When we get overwhelmed by our thoughts its because big things are coming; we either become victim to it or rise. When you become a victim of it, you allow it to overwhelm you.
  • Seeing your powerful growth and passing it on to the next generation is our responsibility; it’s on you. Stop blaming your parents and become aware of the behaviors and it will allow you to grow.
  • Go to www.Dothework.com and subscribe, rate and review this podcast. You can also download an application to be coached by AZ or Carla and start doing the work!
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